Does ignoring a scared cat really make her trust you faster?
In our experience and most owners' telling, yes — acting uninterested is the inviting posture, not the cold one. Cats read pressure fast: eye contact, reaching, calling all raise it. What's actually been tested is the piece underneath it: cats given choice and control over contact relax and approach more.
It feels backwards because human comfort runs the other way — we approach, soothe, hold. Cat trust runs on control of distance: the animal that decides how close things get is the animal that relaxes. When you ignore her, you hand her that control — in our experience and most owners’ telling, that’s what gets a scared cat crossing the room on her own. What’s actually been tested is the frame underneath it: a 2021 intervention study found cats given a choice-and-control handling approach showed more affection and less aggression toward the same person — a protocol now folded into the 2022 AAFP/ISFM veterinary handling guidelines.
“Ignoring” doesn’t mean absence. Be in the room, low and side-on, reading or scrolling; slow-blink if she looks at you; toss a treat low and sideways if she ventures out. What you’re removing is the pressure — the stare, the reach, the summons — not the company.
Full article: how to earn a scared cat’s trust · why the same logic governs hiding: should I pull my cat out from under the bed?
Behaviour and wellbeing only. Nothing here diagnoses or replaces a veterinarian — if something about your cat worries you physically, that’s a call to your vet.
New articles, as we publish them
The everyday moments and the behaviour questions — and first word on what we make, offers included. From Deni & Helen.